Disappointed

Pretty disappointed recently. Disappointed over the stagnant state of my abilities or rather the lack of it. I shall list the things i can do then the things i cannot do.

Do-able
Nothing

Not Do-able
Everything else

that's cos there's no bloody consistency in everything i do. 1 Day i can do this and that like a pro but another day, i failed miserably as if it was the first time I'm doing it.

Words are going around that we don't have enough strength and that is another of my concern, for my size I'm ridiculously weak. So much effort just to master and learn a stunt. Even the junior guys are learning faster (comparatively to me last time). Quite a senior when juniors are almost as good as you are.

When others are training with their own POL all the funny funny stuff, I'm wondering whether i should even invest effort in training. Is it my mindset or is it my incapabilities or my self doubt. 3 more months. I'm just not cut out.